The Cost Of The Show

He hated the winter months, it usually meant he had to put on his coat and go round to one of their rundown flats in the east end and tell whoever was responsible that, immediate action would be taken if payment was not forthcoming! The advertisement frequenting the usual tabloids read:

NEEDALOAN?

FAST AND FRIENDLY SERVICE CONTACT

Timothy Ackroyd

Mobile phone number supplied:

Was usually not clearly scrutinized by those in dire straits or other means of desperation until the truth began to emerge, and by then it was usually too late.

Timothy walked up the steps of the building whose lift still remained broken, despite the fact the local council were praising their selves over local successes in connection with the local elections.

“Don’t do any good!” He muttered to himself, remembering his life as a child in the rundown slums of the East End until he found a way out through use of criminal errands, rather than moral employment. He pressed the intercom and stated with authoritarian intimidation:

“Mr. Richards, its NEEDALOAN.” “Your payment is overdue, I need to talk to you and your wife, if you don’t let me in things will only get worse!”

There was a pause, perhaps even neighbours looking up or peering through windows, this was the kind of area he had hated living in and had not achieved any empathy towards the people that still suffered its authority. However he knew that Mr. and Mrs. Richards were a broken elderly couple whom like all his clients gave in after the use of violent intimidation! And so feebly in more ways than confirmed, Mr. Richards opened the door by removing the door chain and turning as if trudging away in thought stated:

“You better come in!”

“Thanks!”

Inside the moderate flat with its somewhat working class Seventies decorum, along with a new set of Dining Chairs and table no doubt purchased from the loan, Mrs. Richards was seated in her armchair nearest the television. Her hair white and her arms reddened and thin, due to the stress and under nourishment the increased payments had caused along with her arthritis. Even the new purchases mentioned seemed distant rather than surreal, and now they both wished now they had never answered the advertisement, because they knew what was coming next, though the last dice throw of a feeble protest was still in order:

“We can’t pay you any more!” “She began, her face tearful and her voice going almost into illegible pitch. “We can’t keep up with these increases; we’ll pay you what we can!”. “We’re honest people, we won’t let you down!”

Timothy knew this and of course he did not care, because Money Lenders always put up their interest rates so they are not repayable, because they don’t want to lose their clients until they have taken everything from them, and therefore although the protest was logical it was not to be acknowledged:

“I’m sorry, but you’re both too far in debt.” “That is why I’m sending in the bailiffs unless you can come up with the payments this afternoon at three, I’ll phone you then!” “I’ll see myself out!”

Mr. and Mrs. Richards glanced at their home as they watched him leave thankful that they still had each other.

Timothy of course only cared about business, and naturally his wife, whom he had met whilst working as a heavy for more immoral members of the criminal fraternity. She was nothing more than a gangsters mole, pretty, yet now in her early fifties she had grown into something of a east end caricature, slightly over weight with too much make up they could usually be seen in certain areas mixing with certain people, some who he ironically employed as bailiffs if ironically is the right word.

Timothy was a few years younger than his wife, and who had caught who and who needed who seemed irrelevant! They were both the same, addicted to greed and its immaturities; this was no doubt proven when he came home and entering the door with a key. Called out

“I’m, home.” He entered the posh Dining room where his wife sat on the settee holding a remote control and watching the new satellite station Future Tell.” He kissed the side of her face and said:

“They can’t pay, I told them I’ll call back at three and if they haven’t got the money I’ll send in the bailiffs, “Even if they do come up with it I’ll still increase the payments, “You know me, “He smiled” I’m never one to let matters go ;

“It’s their own thought isn’t it!?” Said his wife, remembering how her time in the East End had made her unsympathetic to the plight of others, rather than empathic to those who had suffered as she herself once had. “These people are filth, with their money grabbing fingers and want of a quick buck; we should take them for all we can get;

Timothy did not reply, not only because he was already in full agreement but because he was curious at the advertisements for new shows coming up usually from the States.

“Can we upgrade?” She inquired, her hand poised on the control in a somewhat bored yet critical manner.

“Whatever you want” he smiled, “Listen I’ve got to make a few phone calls, tell the bailiffs to stand by I’ll be in the spare room if you want anything!”

He took out his mobile and left. As if simultaneously his wife turned over the television and noticed something she had not seen before! “a young couple in their early twenties and for some reason recognizable as Americans, seemed to be lost amidst swirling white smoke amidst a film noir type series alleyways, as if this was some colour remake of a 1930’s Private Detective film. “She watched it and concluded to herself:

“Must be some new American cop show”

However as she watched more intriguingly the scene introduced a shadowy silhouette of a man medium height within a deserted alleyway.

“Can you help us please?” inquired the young man nervously holding his wife’s hand as this would become clear, “We’re looking for bargains!”

The figure seemed to savor the moment’s tension then replied:

“So you want bargains?” “You’re a young married couple and your looking for the top sales money can buy-“

There was a yellow illuminating light. The silhouetted figure now stood clarified wearing a silver sequined suit, white shirt and red bow tie, He had short black hair with faded white and a craggy face and black rimmed glasses, he looked like someone out of a Hollywood Gangster film, though somewhat reinvented”

“

Come with me, this way, down the alley, past the corridors, past the entrance door”

This had a silver dressing room Star, the camera followed yet the introductory couple were no longer to be seen since they had played their part, “To-, “The Bargain Basement”

Cut to American audience clapping and going hysterical and Elaine Ackroyd concluding in commiseration out; loud:

“Oh great, another Home Shopping Channel, might be worth a look, see how stupid these people act-“

“Hi Audience!” Stated the host his microphone clipped to his lapel of his shirt so he could apparently seem more natural as he moved around”

“Hi Chuck!”

The name Chuck Wayland came up on screen and Elaine seemed to notice a slight shot of light as it did so though she put this down to television interference”

Chuck Wayland made his way over to a man in his thirties wearing a white shirt, and black trousers and a blue jumper as if this made him more trustworthy than casual. He was standing in front of a demonstration table with a blender the name:

Al Cavelli appeared underneath; despite this the man spoke with a broad Chicago accent rather than an Italian one.

“Hi Chuck, Let me show you and your audience here and at home, this new blender that in the shops would set you back over one hundred dollars and I’m offering it for ninety six., let me give you a demonstration”

Whilst her husband attended to business she watched a typical demonstration of, whisking eggs, and slicing vegetables, and of course detaching the bowl and cleaning it out with a spatula, also included in the price.

“All this for ninety six dollars do we have a deal audience?” Exclaimed Al Cavelli now sounding as if he was going to burst into song in a Frank Sinatra Movie.

“

I don’t know Al? Stated Chuck as part of this shill double act, “What do you think audience “Is it a bargain?”

They apparently had buzzers. A commiserating horn type sound heard on quizzes when contestants answer questions wrongly, confirmed their automated response.

“I’m sorry Al, stated Chuck putting an arm around his friend as if he had blown the chance to win a car, “You know I’m afraid they do have a point!” Can you perhaps do better?”

As if taking his cue, as he had no doubt done when working the streets doing Find the Lady or any other game that took money from gullible people, he began to add on extras!

First a set of four white ramekins/ Soufflé dishes with the emphasis on the word soufflé because of the eggs /egg whites demonstration, followed by a spring cake tin. Turning to his partner in crime he stated: “And these are free at no extra cost”

For some reason Elaine’s instincts told her not to believe this however this was soon to be irrelevant”

“Well let’s ask them shall we?” Began Chuck turning with a look of Game Show Sincerity on his face, “Do we have a bargain?”

This time the noise from the buzzers was more positive, and cries of “Yes!” and “We do!” was heard to back up the statement and dispense any doubt:

Then with a loud American type shout Chuck Wayland stated, what was obviously his catchphrase:

“IT’S A BARGAIN!!! “And if you want a bargain, and guys don’t forget if you wanna impress your lady, then Cheryl is on tonight at nine with some fabulous jewelry that will really impress, “And remember we’re called The Bargain Basement because we offer top goods at generously reduced prices, I mean in this time of recession we all gotta save so be smart!” “Know a bargain when you see one”

“Another catchphrase no doubt” stated Elaine to herself.

We’ll be back after these advertisements don’t go away!” Exclaimed Chuck Wayland.

A star appeared, the kind used in old TV Black and White 1950’s advertising, followed by clean cut housewives selling stuff for the American dream “from the husband’s point of view of course” except this star was in bright yellow, it swirled and created debatable patterns that had gone along with other things into her subconscious, and now for some reason she had an overwhelming desire to pick up the phone and make a purchase! But of course this show was being broadcasted from The United States Of America and she was in the more up market part of the East End of London, where councils had tried to entice those in the city in some cases at the expense of local residents due to increased house prices and other financial activities” Elaine felt a mixture of relief and disappointment, one perhaps more than the other,

Then after a series of advertisements of well known brands, and a young woman telling her same age female neighbour why she can afford all this stuff when they both have the same income and her friend can’t “The bargain basement” Chuck Wayland appeared amidst a swirl of Las Vegas type dancing girls, all blonde and ditsy, swirling around in orange and white dresses, looking like something sinister. Chuck was led on with a girl on each arm then they all dispersed as if he was about to tell jokes, however the matter was going to get far more serious:

“And don’t forget, if you don’t live in the states then don’t worry!” “We have branches all over the place, so if you live in China, or Spain, Or even Europe, then phone one of these numbers and you too can purchase a bargain!”

“Where’s England’s number?” began Elaine moving closer to the television screen, She went over to the dresser that had her husband’s pen and log book on it, and doubled as a cocktail cabinet. Taking up both that were near a decanter of expensive brandy,, she stared transfixed and wrote down the number. Then picking up the white phone also on the dresser, she dialed the number and an English woman in her twenties and probably blonde stated:

Good evening your through to Amy, welcome to The British Section of The Bargain Basement, do you have an order?”

A strange thing occurred, the type of thing usually praised as a memory feat on quiz shows, yet this was more the work of her own prompted subconscious: Elaine reeled off a list of things she wanted to buy, “Some she couldn’t remember seeing.” And then the woman replied:

“And do you have a credit card?”

She and her husband had a joint account, for some dubious legal precaution advised by his Lawyers for some reason, though for some reason she considered that statement irrelevant!

“Yes, she began picking it up also from the dresser and holding it near the light of the window, “She then read out the details”

“Thank you Mrs.Ackroyd!” “Your orders will be with you in five working days!” “Do you have a mobile we can call you on in case of any reason?”

This time she felt it sufficient to give her own mobile number rather than her husband’s, although it was too late to make any difference to their situation”

“Thank for choosing to shop with The Bargain Basement, have a nice day” Stated the young English woman and Elaine heard the phone click out of existence?

Somewhat confused she poured herself a brandy and with hands trembling, though not clearly knowing why, she sat back down as her husband came in, just as another set of advertisements were beginning!

“You get that a lot on American television” he stated.

One was not however for purchases; it was from a program on The History Channel about Prohibition in the 1920,s! it showed two men in suits and hats using axes to smash a barrel of illegal alcohol with the male voice over stating:”

“Tonight on The History Channel, we look back at how greed and ambition for individual; social success was exploited by unscrupulous means!” “And how the men of The FBI sought to tackle this ever increasing problem, that some say is still very active, although in many different forms!”

Timothy did not seem to notice what his wife had done, and therefore allowed her to continue watching whilst he went back into the spare room, this time to check on some paperwork before the bailiffs he employed, “who were merely heavies with criminal records” phoned him to verify the situation. However the call came through quicker than he expected, “Hello Timothy.” stated the first who appeared to be calling from a phone box directly opposite the flats where Mr and Mrs. Richards lived, “There’s a lot of Police and an ambulance outside, there’s a cordon and they appear to be bringing out two bodies on stretchers”

“Is Patrick with you Graham? Inquired Timothy, more curious than concerned”

“

Hold on I think he’s coming over!” “He seems to have been talking to some of the residents”

“Timothy soon learned from his two henchmen that Mr and Mrs. Richards had gassed their selves because they could not keep up the payments, “I think we may have to back off a bit on the intimidation” stated Patrick-“

“Hold on I give the orders, I’ll tell you when to back off!” Anyway this will probably show we have to be taken seriously, “Look I’ll call you back”

Timothy Ackroyd turned to leave when it rang again. Thinking one of the two bailiffs was phoning with some more information, he instinctively answered his mobile and heard the same woman his wife had spoken to stating:

“Hello Mrs. Ackroyd!” “It’s The Bargain Basement Delivery Store, thank you for placing your orders the total comes to five hundred pounds, your order will be with you as stated. “We just phoned to confirm that-“

“Hold on who is this?” “How did you get my mobile number?” “What you mean orders, my wife hasn’t ordered anything;

“I’m afraid that’s not true Sir, and I’m sorry for phoning the wrong number by mistake, however we have your wife’s credit details-“

“Is this some kind of a joke? “Who are you?”

“We are the British Section of The Bargain Basement, the new improved value for money Home Shopping Channel!”

“Wait there” stated Timothy, going into the Dining room to confront his wife, “Elaine did you place any orders with something called The Bargain Basement?”

“I think so.” “Yes I purchased a blender and some other stuff, though for some reason I can’t remember entirely what exactly”

“Well I can tell you it comes to exactly five hundred pounds!” “Look you know it’s not the money but I would like to have been informed, I mean we do have a joint account”

“I’m sorry” she stated as if somehow confused.

Timothy spoke to the woman on the phone telling her it was alright, and then he turned off his mobile and stated:

“We may have to increase our interest or get the payments somewhere else!”

“What you mean?” Inquired his wife now watching a program about how shopping centers try to entice customers by putting goods in certain positions, especially confectionary near the check out counter”

“Mr and Mrs.Richrards are dead, I just had a call from Patrick, they’ve committed suicide, gassed their selves”

“That’s not our problem is it?” she inquired with a hint of concern, though for her and Timothy rather than Mr and Mrs. Richards.

“Well Patrick said we may have to lay off the pressure, but you know how worried he gets when there’s any real pressure-““What exactly did you order?” He inquired

“I can’t entirely remember!” She stated somewhat confused.

Timothy became somewhat concerned, something strange appeared to be occurring and he inquired somewhat apprehensively:

“Did you give them my mobile phone number?”

“Why would I do that, I didn’t use a mobile”

“Then how did you call them?”

“On the main phone”

“Something’s not right here!” He muttered, going out the room.

Timothy went back into the spare room and phoned Patrick on his mobile. He was still at the scene with his colleague, although they were thinking of leaving because of the Police presence and the fact they were getting some suspicious looks..

“I need you to find out what you can about something called The Bargain Basement!” It’s an Home shopping Channel on Future Tell and probably some other satellite television stations!” “Why?” “Because they’ve got hold of my bloody mobile number and I don’t like what’s going on!”

Patrick agreed and Timothy went back to speak to his wife. He was surprisingly empathic, or perhaps he just didn’t think he’d get the answers he wanted, and so he waited. knowing that the next day when his two colleagues arrived he would have the answers from them.

There was something strange about the way his wife seemed! Her desire to watch the station, even though he sat with her and insisted they watch other programs, this was bordering on addiction!

He was pleased to say the least when he received a phone call from Patrick in the morning saying he had the information, and that he and Graham were coming over. And that to say the least he found it disturbing!

Timothy thanked him and replaced the phone. “His wife was still asleep; somehow the activity whatever it was had affected her. And now he was looking at the wires that provided their satellite connection. All of a sudden taking the initiative he phoned the Future Tell customer service line. After giving him and his wife’s customer service number he stated to the woman on the other end of the phone:

“Er, I’d like to cancel The Bargain Basement”

I’m sorry Mr Ackroyd, She stated. “I’m afraid we cannot do that;

“Why not?”

“It’s a free channel, not part of the package!”

“Yeah well we don’t want it; I mean what if we just go to basic!”

“You’ll still receive it.”

“Alright I want to stop the service.” “Call your engineers, tell them we’re canceling our subscription!”

“Just a moment Sir”

There was a typing sound and then:

“I’m Sorry Mr Ackroyd, we cannot do that at the moment-“

“Why not?

“Because your wife is in a contract with The Bargain Basement for goods provisionally purchased not yet paid for!”

“Well what’s that got to fucking do with it?” He inquired frustratingly.

“We cannot interfere with the contract!” “I’m afraid we will not be able to remove your satellite dish, or cancel you or your wife’s subscription!” “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“He slammed down the phone without answering though in a way it was clear he had.

The intercom sounded and nervously for some reason Timothy Ackroyd went and inquired “Who is it?”

“It’s Graham and Patrick” stated Graham.

Timothy let them both in. Patrick stood holding a DVD disc in his hand as if it was incriminating evidence, “I recorded the program yesterday, I think there’s something you should see!” “Put it into the recorder and I’ll show you what I mean!”

Timothy went through into the dining room with the disc Patrick had given him, and did what he was told, whilst his wife waited on the settee watching some documentary about people trying to cope during the recession”

“Ay I was watching that” she said.

“This won’t take a minute Elaine!” Stated Timothy, “Alright, what do I do next?” He inquired of Patrick

“Play the tape forward but at slow speed:!” Stated Patrick.

Timothy did this and began to watch Chuck Wayland, then, when the advertisement break started and the lights type images appeared! He noticed there were pictures somehow caught in the lights, as if of two tapes mixed together, and now he could see words stating:

BUY THIS PRODUCT, YOU WANT TO HAVE THIS! YOU WiLL ENJOY BUYING THIS TV, CAR, COOKER Etc.

“It’s called subliminal brainwashing” said Patrick “They show you an image very quickly and it goes into your subconscious, because your eye only notices it for a second it’s implanted on your brain so to speak.” “I done some research and spoke with some of the old guys, “You know the retired lags who used to hang around with the Americans during that era!” “Chuck Wayland was a small time entertainer who was always trying to make it big, he had Mafia connections though not as big as some of Hollywood’s Entertainers if you get what I mean,” “So he had to make do with playing The Las Vegas Circuit when he wasn’t acting as look out in the places where they couldn’t bribe the cops, “For years he sort of faded, now he’s back and respectable, or so it seems”.

“Yeah well not for long; Stated Timothy, “When I make copies of this disc I’ll expose these people for who they are, I’ll teach them to try and get one over on us!”

“So what you want us to do?” Inquired Patrick/

“Well you can both wait here!” “I have to go to the Bank and make a withdrawal, it won’t take a moment!”

Timothy looked at his wife who seemed mesmerized by the television, it was as if she was suffering from some kind of withdrawal symptoms waiting for her program to come on, even though he knew the only thing on was the subliminal brainwashing tape! He hoped it would make her understand!

Timothy left, he was unaware of the telephone van with the two engineers apparently tapping into his phone line, or indeed if he did notice the van marked Future Tell he seemed oblivious to their true motives! None the less he still had his own causes for suspicions. As he crossed the road and inserted his credit card into the cash machine directly outside his bank, he decided to check his account and to his surprise received a Zero Balance”

“What the-?”

Timothy went into the Bank. Fortunately it was empty. He went over to the young woman in a black skirt and jacket with crisp white blouse. She had blonde hair and was slightly overweight. Although still attractive with matching earrings. He inquired:

“Could you check this card please, I think there’s something wrong with it?”

The woman checked it in her machine and Stated:

“It seems alright to me Mr Ackroyd, this is a joint account for you and your wife I believe!”

“Yes that is correct,. Then fearing the worst he inquired:” Can you tell me the balance?”

“The balance on the account is zero!”

“No, hang on that can’t be right!” “Can you check anything?”

The woman tapped at her computer screen then exclaimed:

“Ah here it is, a payment was made to The Bargain Basement for refusal to make payment on certain goods purchased over others!”

“Well can’t you cancel it?” He inquired trying not to sound hysterical though seemingly about to give that impression, “I mean who do these people think they are?” “I want my money put back in my account!”, “It’s my money!”

“Well actually it’s you and your wife’s money Mr Ackroyd, and I’m afraid we cannot put it back into your account because it’s been withdrawn!”

“I want to speak with whoever’s in charge!”

“Sir, everyone one is on their lunch break!” “Now please keep calm or I will have to ask you to leave!”

“You’re working for them aren’t you you fucking bitch your in on it!” “Well I have evidence, you hear me!” “And I’ll go to the Police.”

Timothy stormed out as the woman picked up the phone/….”

He did not go to the Police, not yet anyway, if indeed that was his full committed intention. Instead he went back home and slinging his credit card on the table stated:

“They’ve cleared us out” “Bastards have taken money from our joint account!” He noticed the concerned look on Patrick’s face and inquired:

“What’s wrong?”

Both men were seated in chairs though opposite each other, it was Graham who answered as he seemed to glance at the phone continuously:

“Timothy we got a phone call from the Police!”, “First of \all due to an inquiry into the apparent joint suicides of Mr and Mrs. Richards, your license to lend money has been suspended!” “And there was a coded bomb warning telling everyone who works at NEEDALOAN OFFICE to vacate the premises, five minutes later a bomb blew the building to bits!” “Fortunately no on was hurt!”

“Who do these bastards think they are?” “Get the staff, I want to talk to the staff-“

“I’m sorry but we were told it would be best if you did not, until matters concerning financial matters were resolved!”

“They’re doing this to me!” He stated, “This bloody American Bargain rip off!” “Well I’ll show them; “Listen do we still have that bent copper working for us, I mean is he still on our payroll?”

“Timothy, I’m frightened “began Elaine, “We, we can get the money, I don’t want anything to happen to you!”

“Look nothing’s going to happen Elaine!” He exclaimed going over and removing the disc! “We’ve got the evidence!” “These people are crooks, all we have to do is go to the Police and we’ve got them”

Elaine had the kind of unconvinced look he had experienced when he tried to fool more astute clients; however he gave his most reassuring smile and gave Patrick the disc! He watched them leave then stated as he held his wife’s hands with both his:

“Elaine, I’m going to disconnect the Satellite cable connection, we can’t trust these people they’re trying to control our minds!”

Elaine watched her husband as he disconnected the cable from the DVD player and television, then a strange thing happened, the words:

WELCOME TO THE BARGAIN BASEMENT came on the screen!

He picked up the control and began to frantically change the channels as if it gave him an illusion of control, it was on all stations!

“Who do these people think they are trying to control our lives, they’ve got no right to intimidate us?”

His colleagues were on their way to the Police Station, and because it was not in the area they had to travel on the main road, they appeared to be unaware of The van marked Future Tell coming upward at the right side a Truck coming towards them in the opposite direction, “Patrick signaled to the driver of the truck and he swerved almost expertly as if obeying his part. Then the Future Tell Van struck the side of Patrick’s car_”

A few minutes later Timothy received a phone call, he picked it up and inquired:

“Patrick?”

“Hello Mr Ackroyd!” Said the woman from Future Tell called Amy whom he had spoken to earlier, “I’m afraid there’s been a terrible accident on the main road, your two colleagues have been killed!” “Would you care to accept a phone call?”

“Yes” he said, somewhat deflated.

There was a silence and then he heard a heavy accented Chicago New York voice state:

“Hello Mr Ackroyd.” “This is Chuck Wayland, I believe we need to meet up, “We’d like you and your wife to come to our London Studio, we can arrange for a limousine to pick you both up this evening at 7:30 if that’s alright with you both?”

“And what if we refuse? He said, trying to sound intimidating which for once wasn’t working.

“I think it would be wise for you both to cope, especially under your circumstances,”I don’t think you fully realize who you’re dealing with! Stated Chuck, trying to sound emphatic as opposed to intimidating.

Timothy Ackroyd. self made businessman which in his case was a euphemism for money lender, loan shark, crook-, “Studied the parasitical hedonistic home other people had paid for, and with a plan, agreed to Chuck Wayland’s demands:

“Excellent. We’ll see you at 7:30!”.”Oh and I’m sorry about your two colleagues!” “The Police say their car must have veered out of control, though I assure you you and you’re wife will have a safe journey, “Well I have to go now!” “That’s Show Bossiness as they say.” “Goodbye”

Timothy waited until the phone was clicked out of existence because he feared he was being listened into, then as if still suspicious he muttered softly: “You will be mate, when I go on the air and tell everyone what a bunch of bloody psychopaths you all are, I have friends, don’t think you’re getting away with this any of you;

Timothy and Elaine sat quietly not watching television, or even listening to music on their CD Player or even listening to the radi,, If there was any irony in what they were facing they neither saw it, instead they chose to be comforted by their own selfishness and naivety! They did however watch the clock on the mantelpiece and were distracted at 7:30 by a phone call!

“It’s them” said his wife, “I know it is;

Timothy picked up the phone and sounded somewhat frantic which was the truth, though he had wanted to continue his aura of confidence: “Hello.” Who is this?”

“Ah Mr. and Mrs.Ackroyd’s residence I assume, began an LA sounding voice that although not English did show signs of a well to do education!, This is Carlton, Sir, I’m you’re Chauffer I’m outside your house, “I’ve come to take you both to the studio!”

“Hold on” stated Timothy and put the phone on the table leaving it off the hook and going to the window to check, There standing next to an expensive looking Silver Limousine famous in Hollywood and in some cases quiz Shows, was a smartly dressed 36 year old American Chauffer with a somewhat warm welcoming smile, he waved palm up to indicate he was ready!

Timothy was not even though he tried to convince himself he was, and the fact he had been seen meant of course that they had no choice but to go through with it, “Whatever it was”

“Come on” stated Timothy to his wife after replacing the phone without making a confirmation to the Chauffer, “Let’s get this over with”

“Timothy please I’m frightened!” “Can’t we just say I’m not well?” “I don’t trust these people I have a feeling something terrible is going to happen!”

“Look, Elaine, they’ve taken away my job and our money, if we back out now they probably will kill us!” “Now listen to me, when I get on that show I’m going to exposé them!” “We, We can’t be the only people they’ve done this too, there must be others, all it takes is for someone to speak out!”

This time when his wife looked at him she did see the irony when she thought of the people who had gotten in debt and tried to stand up to them! However she agreed and they both went outside to meet the Chauffer who shook hands with them both automatically. He then told them to wait a moment whilst he got a couple of items from the dashboard!

“Americanism” muttered Timothy trying to sound in control”

Elaine was more shocked than her husband to see two eye-masks with no slits, the kind favoured in quiz shows brought on by blondes in silver sequin leotards, and worn by contestants about to be asked a series of questions. however Elaine feared for their safety and had a question of her own;

“Why do we need to wear these?” she exclaimed trying to make it sound more like a plea than a protest”

“The location is a closely guarded secret” exclaimed Carlton handing them their blindfolds “You’d be wise to cooperate!”

Reluctantly they both agreed,

In the back of the limousine whilst listening to The Pastoral Suite for some obscure reason, perhaps to subdue them?! Timothy Ackroyd an East end lad who knew the turnings like the back of his hand, listened for sounds and familiar smells of shops, such as takeaways and Restaurants and Bakers, anything that would allow him to give a description to the Police when the time come, He was however thrown from his confidence when the car being driven by the Chauffer seemed to be rolling somewhat downward. For a moment both Timothy and Elaine had the impression that they were going over a precipice or somehow being driven into the river. However the Limousine regained it’s correct position, yet now there were no sounds of other cars or even people, instead all they could hear in the distance was a recording of Chuck Wayland transmitting an episode of The Bargain Basement.

“We’re here” stated Carlton, “You can remove you’re blindfolds now”

Quickly Timothy and Elaine did so and were shocked to see their selves surrounded by silver type steel walls, it was now clear that somehow the road had opened up and they had driven through a secret tunnel that only few people got to know about!

“Soon everyone will, then you’ll are be finished”! Said Timothy in thought as he and his wife got out the car. an attractive blonde female make up artist appeared and shook hands with them both”

“Hello you must be Elaine.” she concluded, “You have to come with me please!””Er will you show Mr.Ackroyd through to Mr Wayland’s Room, he said he would like to speak with him!”

“No, I want my husband with me, do you understand?” She screamed raising her voice in the obviously soundproof secret underground room, “I want Timothy with me”

Timothy Ackroyd was allowed to embrace his wife in reassurance and kiss the side of her face, he then whispered in her ear as softly and as clarified as he dared:

“Do as they say, I’ll get us out of this, I promise.”

With a tearful smile Elaine agreed and went with the make up artist whilst Timothy went with Carlton. Fortunately for a while they walked together though remained in thought and did not speak, then before any of them could say anything they were propelled down different corridors to face their interrogators! Or so they considered.

Timothy now stood outside a Hollywood type dressing room with a silver star with the name Chuck Wayland on it. Timothy waited whilst Carlton knocked discretely as if this was Las Vegas and Chuck Wayland was about to go on, “Still amounts to a con” thought Timothy to himself as he felt a sense of isolation and began wondering how his wife was.

The door opened and Chuck Wayland remained seated with a towel around him as a different make up artist, this one a woman with black hair applied the finishing touches before leaving, smiling courteously at Timothy as she did so.

“Mr. Ackroyd to see you as you instructed Mr.Wayland.” “Would you like me to remain?”

“No it’s alright Carlton, You can leave us, “I think Mr.Ackroyd knows the score, and I believe we do owe him an explanation!”.

“Very good Mr.Wayland” Stated Carlton and then replied “Goodbye Mr.Ackroyd” and left. Shutting the dressing room door.

Immediately Chuck Wayland turned round, and removing his towel and placing it on a spare chair that just happened to be next to his swivel chair, began his explanation:

“Let me tell you how all this Started Mr.Ackroyd, like you I was also born into poverty or to be more exact my Father was.” “He started off in Chicago for the mob working in the prohibition racket and keeping a look out for that dumb jerk Elliot Ness,then when Prohibition became legalized it was clear we had to find a another way to get people hooked!” “Of course there was always drugs but that never very much appealed to him , I mean it’s so stigmatized and he wanted to present a more family element, “If you get my point” “So that left consumerism, people wanted stuff and they wanted a bargain, so when I took over we did our research and found that there were shall we say, subtle forms of enticement to encourage people to become hooked on materialism!” “In a way the legalizing of prohibition worked in our favour, because now that people could drink openly and socialize they also wanted to impress their friends in other ways, New appliances for the home, new Jewelry, new clothes, anything that made them feel accepted by increasing their social status,!” “However we decided to increase their desires in a more direct way so to speak”

“Subliminal Brainwashing” stated Timothy as if threatening to expose the truth though he probably didn’t really think it would cause Chuck Wayland to back off!

“You can use that term and you’d be right, but don’t think it hasn’t been used in other more subtle forms, why’d you think shopping centers put sweets near the check out or have freshly baked smelling bread, or buy one get one free offers, and do you really believe all that crap about lotions and drinking the right beer making you irresistible to women?” “No, it’s all lies, it’s all part of the same advertising plan we had under prohibition, but this is much more addictive.” “This is the future of the world we live in,!” “Control of the individual through addiction to merchandise and consumerism!” “We are not some cheap outfit like the one you used to run Mr.Ackroyd, we have Senators, Businessmen and other authority figures including well known celebrities and high ranking officials from all over the world, including Police Officers working for us!” “Oh some by choice but others are addicted to our products!” “Our exploitation of third world employees and the need to remain in status, “Despite the collapse of the banks and the recession.” “And soon when the time comes we will go public, and then people will know that it is us who call the shots and not the politicians, or their rich friends who fund their election”

The door opened and the woman who had been with Elaine smiled and said, “The show’s about to start Mr.Wayland can I take Mr.Ackroyd to make up now?”

“Where’s my wife?” he screamed, “Where is she, what have you done with her?”

“Your wife is fine” stated the make up artist, “Please come with me, you will soon be together I assure you!”

Timothy expelled all thoughts of physical confrontation, even though he could easily have taken both Chuck Wayland and this woman, he knew it would not be a good move because of what they might do to both him and his wife if he did not cooperate! So he went with her past white pristine corridors, the smell of cleanliness and the sound of insane mumbling and laughter far different from the kind usually found on light entertainment shows of this kind made him apprehensive. Though what really unnerved him was the men and women dressed in white, they reminded him of medical doctors, with the women in blouses and skirts and the men in trousers and thin top jumpers and matching white coats though all that mattered now was him and his wife getting out of this place and going to the police!

Chuck Waylabnd came on the stage amidst dancing girls, messed about in a dancing manner a little bit then began by stating:

“Ladies and Gentlemen: welcome to The Bargain Basement and as you will know we always like to welcome new members to ask them how things are going, so who do we have with us today?”

The neon light showed Timothy Ackroyd’s name in green like a traffic road sign rather than an Hollywood introduction as intended, however Chuck Wayland’s announcement:

“It’s our newest member Timothy Ackroyd” more than made up for it, and as if on cue the audience clapped as one of the dancing girls in a silver sequined leotard brought Timothy on holding his arm and smiling for the benefit of the people obliviously watching!

“So Timothy, began Chuck Wayland putting an arm round Timothy’s shoulder as the woman smiled at the cameras and left, “Can you tell us how you came to discover The Bargain Basement?”

The audience, it was so dark. why couldn’t he see the audience?

“Yes, I usually have this affect on people that’s why my wife chooses to ignore me!” “Just kidding darling if you’re watching, and if you’re not then-,”No seriously, Timothy welcome to the show, are you nervous?”

“A bit”

“Well don’t be!” “Tell us how you found out all about us?”

No one would believe him now, not the way he was acting, all he had to do was find Elaine and get out. “My wife discovered it, she’s a big fan, infact she came here with me but we appear to have got separated,. I think she might be in the audience!” He stated hoping this would somehow up his hand!

“Well let’s see shall we?” Exclaimed Chuck Wayland,, “It appears to be a bit unclear from where I’m standing, can we have the lights up please?”

Whatever sight he was expecting it was not this one. The entire audience were strapped into chairs with wires protruding from their heads and chests as they moved spasmodically like patients in some state mental hospital, though what really horrified him was the TV Screen that had showed him and Chuck Wayland now showing a normal audience, this one no doubt being broadcasted so that people at home did not realize the truth about this place that they not only took your money they took everything perhaps even your soul! The audience seemed to be laughing at him the way the kids in school used to laugh at him when he was a child and his family was impoverished, before he found a way out and that is what he needed! Timothy broke into a run not caring what anyone thought. He ran down the white pristine corridors hearing screams as he raced towards the entrance and out into the street only to be faced with a huge cage filled with people marked STUDIO AUDIENCE. inside was his wife reaching out through the bars with other screaming hysterical people who now realized what they had become involved with. and that for them as for him there was to be no escape. Suddenly he felt his arms being grabbed by two men in white outfits he had seen earlier and as he felt a gentle pinprick stab into his arm he became giddy, and as they forced him into the cage amidst the screaming hysteria of his wife and those who were also trapped in the want of consumerism, he knew he had finally lost everything he had owned, this being the price some people have to pay

TH END

Fright For The Part

His Hand Hovered Nervously Above the blood red phone in the Los Angeles hotel. The year 1950, waiting for it to ring, when suddenly it did, quickly he picked it up.

“Hello Neil Fenton, Actor.”

“Neil. It’s David Haversham the producer, There’s an audition for a man to star alongside Lucy Wellings in her new film! I’ve suggested you try out for the role. Now we all know how difficult she is to work with and she doesn’t suffer fools, I mean she got the last leading man fired from the set, so I’m hoping you don’t mess up! You understand? This could be your chance to break into the big time!”

“Don’t worry Mr. Haversham, He replied nervously, I won’t let you down!”

“Alright you to go there right away, you know the address!”

“Yes Sir.”

“Good. Then you’d best not be late, you know how impatient she is;

“Yes Sir.”

The phone clicked out of existence. Quickly he replaced the receiver and put on his coat lying on the bed. Struggling to get his arm in correctly as he did so, all the time thinking this was his big chance.

“Oh please God, don’t let me be late, you don’t know what she’s like.”

His coat now on he ran out forgetting to close the door behind him, and almost tripping over the stair carpet and breaking his neck. Finally outside he fumbled for his keys. He found and entered just as dark blue clouds began to form above the sky indicating rain, he inserted the ignition key and turned it, nothing.

“Oh God, please.”

He tried it again, same.

“Please.” He cried his voice now frantic in desperation. On the third attempt it started.

Quickly he began to drive. The journey soon changed from a busy Los Angeles Road to empty countryside type road with trees and muddy grass on either side, the only sound being that of the rain pounding heavier against the roof of his car and distorting the vision of the windscreen as the wipers worked automatically.

“Oh Please God, don’t let me be late, I need this role!”

His mind on other things he was unaware of the truck driver with his wife next to him coming in the opposite direction, both of them tired having celebrated round their son’s house with his wife their first year of marriage. Each person occupied with their own thoughts they only became aware when the truck struck Neil’s car at an angle, causing it to swerve off the road downwards alongside a muddy slope. Being Los Angeles the truck driver and his wife did not want to get involved and so refused to stop. Suddenly the car smashed into a tree and being the type not to wear a seat-belt, Neil Fenton went halfway through the windscreen, a piece of glass embedded within the left side of his face.

“Help me, please.”

Nervously realsiing this was his only chance he began to pull free. The trapped flesh peeling off as he did so to reveal blood soaked enamel bone. And now almost free he noticed a piece of glass had become embedded within his left eye, the other end still attached to the car. The pain indescribable he somehow managed to pull himself free, his left eye falling out of its socket and sliding down his leg and landing with a squelch like a snowball in a bloody avalanche; Even more concerned now about being late for the audition he got out the car. The Moon shining on the enamel side of his face to reveal what he had become. He gritted his blood soaked teeth in determination and began to make his way, stumbling across the rain swept muddy grass until he was yet again on open, “if not” dry road. He walked across until he came to a huge iron gate, the sign on the placard read:

CEMETARY

He tried the gate, it creaked open, he glanced around, the whole place deserted except for the freshly dug stench coming from the five open graves. He closed the gate and began to walk towards an old wooden door in the distance that was situated as entrance to the crypt. He tried the handle, it turned and the door opened. Nervously he stepped in. The only light coming from a candelabra on an old table, a Victorian mirror hung above the wall. T The door slammed shut and he turned to see five men in rotted clothes with skeleton faces, then he turned away in terror catching sight of himself in the Victorian mirror. He screamed. Then the light clicked on and Lucy Wellings said:

“Oh he’s perfect for our horror movie.”

THE END

Quaff

An exquisite meal to prepare epicurean delights that boasted of their extravagance freely upon the plates, complimented by fine wines, or what ever drink deemed appropriate, a few candles perhaps and some fruit and the finest of chocolates, The whole idea was to enjoy the evening to relish in it’s delights and not to drown in it’s labours!

“A day like a promotion perhaps, Having celebrated with his wife his new job in the company and savoured the praise of his boss,, his bosses wife and new found friends, Charles Harker and his wife Louisa had now returned from their feast to their stately home in their white Capri to savour the praises like a lavish dessert before they were to sleep soundly and dream of what joyous occasions his job promotion was to bring”

As they emerged from the car him in dinner suit and bow-tie her in a green crossover dress there seemed something out of place about the whole situation, The night was cold with dark blue clouds yet that was acceptable this time of year, Winter was coming and thus was considered a time for more feasting food and drink to enjoy on lonely nights, celebrations with new found friends was always worth savouring as was indeed a promotion such as the one he had achieved!

“Ah more Christmas and Birthday cards to fill in, He announced taking out the key from his Dinner Jacket and opening the two white stately doors with a single turn of the ,.lock, now we really can afford to keep this place your Grandfather left us”

“You made him proud, she announced, her hands on his shoulder in admiration as she somewhat intoxicated with Chateau D.Yqeum and finest champagne kissed his face, You make us all proud, I knew I did right to marry you, I knew if I waited then I would have real cause for celebration rather than making do with scraps at one of those dreadfully dull office parties”

“Which I’m afraid my dear we will ironically have to attend if you want to keep the new life I “Your hardworking husband has made you accustomed too”

“Who said I don’t like being a kept woman” she replied, rushing in because she was tired, it was now via a quick consultation of his expensive Gentleman’s watch three in the morning and he too was ready for bed even if he had remained a designated driver because he did not want to risk losing his promotion before it had even had chance to begin!

“There was something unusual about the stately home, perhaps it looked different at night or more so after returning from a Dinner Party, despite it’s grand sounding title the stately home as they referred to it was not as fine and noble as the home of his boss and now he noticed his wife staring at things well known that now seemed less familiar” The painting of a ship before you climbed the staircase seemed crooked as if someone had knocked it, yet she knew they had not gone anywhere near it and it was too far for any of them to touch when competing a journey downstairs or up so it could not have been used as an improvised banister, the carpet it appeared to have a tiny reddened stain like a crimson goblet had it always been there, had he cut himself this morning and forgotten to mention it because of their anticipated concerns about the evening “Although like the menu they had dined upon both had gone exceptionally as planned!

These thoughts were not enough to prevent her from climbing the stairs and making her way to bed, like children on Christmas Eve awaiting presents they too wondered what financial and indeed personal gifts awaited them in their desire for the moveable feast that accompanied success!

And so after a quick slosh of water and soap a change from day clothes to night they went to bed and whilst he slept instantly she “His wife took a little longer, hearing what sounded like the fluttering of wings amidst jovial regaling yet in a state of lucid dreaming the images were of people, celebrations and food however this dream was she somewhat uncouthly awakened from when she heard what sounded like the crash of glass coming from the Dining Room the distinct sound of a wine glass she knew this because they had once lost one when his parents came to congratulate them on their marriage plans, “She had felt annoyed yet realised now remaining calm had been the right choice now she was not so certain, Someone was downstairs, she was certain, the successes they had worked so hard to achieve could now so easily be taken from them, “She shook him. blearily he inquired:

“What, What is it I’m tired”

“Charles, I heard a noise, I think someone is downstairs in our Dining Room,!

Oh for goodness sake Louisa, We locked up and the only window open is the one at the top, no one could get their hand in and even if they did the latch is too far to reach!

As if to contradict there was what she began to refer to as the familiar fluttering sound even though she had only heard it twice and that was once in a dream!

Charles I think it’s an animal, a bird perhaps, I don’t want it breaking anything, Oh please Charles couldn’t you just go and check, while I wait here”

He studied her apprehensive face that matched the tone of her voice like a dreadful menu washed down with a bout of unease he smiled to show his concern for her was empathic and stated:

Alright, , “He announced getting out of bed in pyjamas and putting on his shoes you wait here I won’t be long”

“Please hurry” she said, I keep thinking there’s something wrong!

As he crept silently down the white steps his confidence began to falter as he now heard what sounded like voices, not hostile or shy more gregarious mixed with singing and laughter and the now even more familiar sound of the fluttering of wings, Had he left the television on? He wondered, And yet he still reassured himself by reaching for the poker kept nearest the coal shuttle for poking the Victorian log fire that was indeed popular with guests and had soften them up for many a business negotiation along with the fine food and wine they hoped to serve for their new found guests.

However as he entered the Dining Room it appeared they had unwelcome and indeed unexpected guests of the most widely extravagant kind” For their infront of him were people dressed in regal costumes as if part of some Medieval Celebration, the clothes however looked somewhat Eastern, Rumanian perhaps or somewhere nearby he and his wife had visited on one of their Gourmet Holidays, The table they used for their entertaining of invited guests had been unceremoniously taken like a reserved table in a Restaurant by whoever these people were, And yet they had had the decency not to ruin the evening so to speak by covering the table in too much food, instead they had prepared what he had to admit was an excellent yet discrete spread of fruits and cheeses from both Europe and The Continent , a small selection of exquisite patisseries that would round off any dessert and fresh crusty bread the smell still wafting fragrantly mixed with the chill from the dark blue night sky amidst a full moon, and a bowl of finest hand crafted chocolates and some nuts to be shelled and biscuits for cheese, butter and drink, a strange concoction that he read as Nepenthe!

As they laughed and swilled from Goblets he believed himself to be unnoticed until one of them dressed in regal splendour though of a somewhat peasant nature announced loudly: “Come good Sire, join us in our moveable feast, we are but humble folk forced from out our homeland, come, “This time it was said with a rather exaggerated beckoning gesture of the arm, “Yes, join us please they all cried in unison with the man he himself called the peasant king. As he approached these Eastern Europeans for that was what they were, he became somewhat enticed by an attractive woman in a swirling white and red striped skirt of a flimsy material and a green faded top that showed the shape of her breasts, she presented him with a tanker in barmaid fashion and complete with a arm circling around his neck and a kiss on the side of his face she urged him to come, “Enjoy our moveable feast, “Drink with us and celebrate the old ways and traditions before they came and drove us from our lands”

He obliged, not knowing why, “Fear perhaps of antagonising them, or perhaps because the only logical explanation he could bring forth was that this was some elaborate joke played on him by his new found friends who would soon appear and explain it all, “If so, was his wife in on it? Maybe he should call her, however before he could utter any words the strange somewhat cloying liquid was forced down his throat to the accompaniment of cheers and backslapping, embraces and methods of amicable acceptance that he found off putting where as other times he would have welcomed it, As he “Being a gregarious sort of chap would have welcomed this or any celebration apparently in his honour;

The liquid was not to say the least unpleasant, infact it was rather warm, sweet like a rather excellent Port and they did have some rather good accompaniment of cheeses to go with it, “Yet it was not as strong as Port although its warmth was mingled with a gentle soothing soporific effect the liquid itself was clear like water and because of their Eastern origins and accents he concluded it to be a form of Vodka or something very similar made from the same ”More or less” ingredients” And so he quaffed this Nepenthe and he ate of fine cheeses and food and his mind grew dazed along with his thoughts and he wondered where he had heard the word before, then remembering his obtained knowledge he began to gather forth all that he knew of Nepenthe, It’s mentioning in literature as a drug a ancient form of opium or laudanum though he wondered now if to try and flee would bring forth anger and make the situation worse, And yet if he wanted too he could not for his legs had grown weak and they needed to hold him upwards as his mind wandered to the poem by Edgar Allen Poe entitled The Raven and it’s line:

Let me Quaff this kind Nepenthe and forget the lost Lenore,

Were they trying to forget and if so forget what? Could that be the reason they had thrown a regal cloak across the surface of the huge Dining Room Mirror, was it some ancient Eastern European tradition a custom they chose to keep as part of this unknown moveable feast he had been forcibly invited to partake in!

“Where are you from? He inquired; his voice mingled with drug induced joviality so much so that his words were almost drowned out by his own raucous laughter”

“We are from Eastern Europe good Sire announced the peasant king our traditions go back a long long way, We have lived among you since the dawn of time, our kind and yours have always existed somewhat peacefully at first though when beliefs and traditions were met with conflict that was the beginning of our demise!

“But we are here and we will always be among you” Confirmed the Barmaid as he referred to her in thought and we will always be among you, hiding in the darkness of your World, lurking within the shadows seeking forth what was once ours to take at will!

The talk became incomprehensible the drink clouded any meaningful translation and yet he was able to keep his wits about one thing, “Why were some of them armed with swords? He had not noticed this before being too mesmerised by the splendour of their costumes yet now he did, And the thought it was part of some elaborate costumed proposal did not subdue the fear and terror he was beginning to sense that soon covered him as he fell to the floor overcome with more than the splendour of good hospitality!

All celebrations need surprises and some should be reserved not just for those who arrive first but for those guests who for reasons we will not yet discuss come later than anticipated. Not able to fathom the noise anymore his wife blearily made her way down the stairs, The vibrant celebration continued as if they were unaware of their intrusive guests, “Yet she became aware of them and even more so aware of the hideous sight of her husband’s headless torso upon the table as the centre piece, Now it was clear why the food had been rationed for they had to leave room for the main course, Blood poured into Goblets whether with or without Nepenthe they quaffed as their kind had always done, feasting upon the blood of humans though sometimes recruiting them, And as she stared in terror at their blood soaked canine teeth the peasant king announced with a swill of his Goblet in gratitude at her unintentional part in this ancient preparation:

“We bid you goodbye Milady for we must continue our moveable feast wherever we can, To Quaff” They all shouted, to feast as we have done before till we may do so again.

And with that they all turned into bats and flew off leaving her to scream at the severed head of her husband whilst they searched for other places to celebrate their moveable feast”

THE END

Realism In Poetry

I reflect upon this rose tinted scene, that speaks only silence,

When the wind whispers become incoherent,

When the beauty of the land dies,

First with hope, then with empathy, and finally with flowers,

I watch clouds gather soulless, till darkness seeks to destroy my very agnosticism,

I wait for beauty, the shape of a woman, the rawness of intimacy, the savagery of life,

For beauty succumbs unto death, and I yearn once more to taste the life I so desire

Needs For An Opinion

In ignorance they stay silent,

In isolation they shout,

Not as many but as one,

They however answer all as one,

Though silence does not listen to the cries of the individual

The En

Time Circle

We step forth together

treading steps like esher's character,

With no meaning, forlorn and sysyphian,

We gather each thought similar, Incidents deemed familiar,

Will make us consider, if all time together,

Has existed from beginning to end,

And merely goes round again and again 

Hierarchies In Poetry

The Centre is infected ,

It goes around itself, whilst outside all seek what they reject,

Once the Janus Man would cry tears, and smile at the same time,

Then he chose to sleep, and so they supped his sickness unto him.

Now he only smiles, and so we all smile,

The Janus Man cries not to be heard, for his smile already speaks volumes,

And whilst the centre pretends all is fine, outside it is not,

For poems speak and are discarded,

Because sometimes they refuse an audience,

And so as they drown unheard,

You reach out, and your hand is pushed away,

Your colours run so bright they are despised by their glowing truth,

Your words are inaudible, and even if they were clarified,

No one could pronounce them,

The Centre is infected, yet we believe outside all is pure,

The purity, of friendship, love, family and the cross upon the hill,

Yet when these seem to fade, we turn to expressions of literature,

Hoping one day the centre will die of it's own septic irrelevance,

And hopefully we will be heard and above all understood

The End