Not Yet

Despite everything being seemingly perfect, sometimes her mind would wander to that parallel world known as, what might have been, Claire was married to David, whom she had met one evening, because she her car was being repaired because the steering had been playing up, and the trains at decided to stop running because of some inconvenience she could never figure out.

“Perhaps it was all part of a plan?” she told herself, driving to university to study her course in Quantum Physics, the car obviously working well, now that matters had been settled.

David had noticed her, walking in the rain and offered her a lift. At first she hesitated, his voice was firm and seemed to contradict the apparent kindness of his words. However something told her it was alright and so she accepted. They got talking, and one of them, “She could not remember whom.” suggested they meet for a meal, and so they did, and this line of existence came into focus and time changed things, Claire married David and they had so far ben together for thirty seven years. Now however she was becoming more uncertain about the decision she had chosen to make; Or perhaps it had been made for her?

The course Claire was studying was about time, how it worked, what was it's purpose, and did time really exist, or was it merely an illusion created by clocks, and daylight and night time, the Sun and the Moon, incidents arranged and forced upon us by unseen forces, and what happens when time splits, when a decision is made that causes two different outcomes, creating what was known in effect as a Parallel Universe. That was one of the subjects studied in this course, parallel universes.

Claire wondered if by marrying David she had somehow created one, for reasons that were soon to become clarified.

The man giving the course was called Professor Nigel Sanderson. He was in his mid-fifties with a somewhat regular flow of greyish hair, that was tufted in an odd pattern around the sides, yet flat on top, he was not very tall yet for some inexplicable reason , the fact he seemed to stoop though did not actually do so, seemed to make him more so. He had craggy lines around his forehead and a somewhat reddened glow on his face. He usually wore a brown tweed sports jacket type outfit along with a red shirt that seemed as out of place as some of his theories. Claire has blonde hair, somewhat flat and silky, yet white-ish, her figure is slendour and she has green eyes. It was clear to everyone including Claire how attractive she was, and it was also clear that she was popular, not only with the other Students, but also with her teacher, Professor Nigel Sanderson, whom had never married. Claire did not mind, David however did not feel the same.

“Does he have to stand so close to you?” David had once inquired, at an end of term celebration, just before Christmas, that the Students were allowed to bring their friends and family too;

“He's just being friendly.” She said. Anyway, I thought you'd like being seen out with an attractive young woman?”

David had smiled, whilst still holding his cheap glass of wine, the other Students and teaching staff along with all the other staff were mingling in the distance. Claire felt alone and somehow out of place, she did not like this part of David's character, in fact over the years there were many things she had grown to dislike about David, sometimes she even wished she had never met him,

Yet, he had never physically harmed her, although he could be somewhat intimidating, what with his size, he was six-foot three, and his bulky yet athletic physique. And he did shout a lot when he lost his temper, and he seemed to do that mostly whenever anyone did anything to upset him, especially when he was behind the wheel of his car. Claire sometimes wondered what would have happened if instead of having to walk home that night, she had decided to take the car, and the brakes had caused her to somehow interact with David's car and they-”

“Claire, are you alright, inquired one of the students a young man in his twenties called Gavin, we have to go in!”

“I'm sorry.” replied Claire, realising she was blocking the door, and she turned to allow Gavin to enter the classroom, and then flowed suit the door naturally having been left open.

“Ah Claire.” Stated Professor Sanderson, holding a piece of chalk in mid-air amidst a very impressive though complex drawing of Parallel Universes complete with words and number equations, Please take a seat, I'm about to explain how sometimes despite incidents of time bringing about change, they sometimes revert back.”

“Revert back to what?” thought Claire, as she took her usual seat, and took out her note-pad and study course, she then placed them on her desk, the other students had already done the same.

The theory it seemed, was that even if time itself had gone in two different directions thus creating two different outcomes, if these outcomes were slowly being changed to their original first option, then that original outcome would be put in place.

Professor Sanderson gave an example, “Suppose a woman is about to audition to be an Actress and at the last minute, because of some incident she has to cancel, so she does not get the job. However because time had ordained it, time is split in two, thus creating a Parallel Universe where she does get the job. Now what if later on, that same woman who turned down the audition decides to go for another one, with the intention of becoming an Actress, and what if she gets it. Does it affect her other self? Does her other self begin to see her work dry up so to speak Does she choose an alternative form of employment, are the two worlds somehow in conflict with each other?”

This played on Claire's mind, so much so that she became unable to concentrate, not on her work, more so, on the drive home. She began to apparently see things. The night was illuminated only by somewhat faded yellow street lights, made even lesser by the ongoing heavy rain. It seemed to slither down her windscreen, causing lined patterns like strands of thick cut glass. It was as if her windscreen had been smashed, and now, Claire could see the rain drops turning to crimson, a dark bloody crimson, and in some far away world she was beginning to see strands of hair. Her colour hair, even recognisable despite covered in thick red blood. In the distance, despite the night being silent, she could hear screaming, it sounded like her husband's voice. It was the same tone he used when hew was angry, especially whenever someone upset him when he was behind the wheel of his car.

“This is stupid. thought Claire out loud as if she needed to reassure herself, David has never harmed me, he's not like that.”

Claire stopped her car a few yards from her and David's suburban home. Situated in a spacious street amidst other houses, all seemingly unconnected amidst a long winding grey road, as if part of their own individual yet parallel existence. She stopped outside an all night Cafe that was frequented by the more higher class persona, although anyone whom could pay was welcome.

Claire sat alone and picked up a menu. However loyalty to this particular time and existence caused her to check her watch. She usually got home about six, however she was convinced David would understand if she was a few minutes late, and anyway, she felt safe here with people she knew, and so she did not mind the idea of being stuck in some Time Warp where no one could harm her, unlike the world she now lived in, that she was convinced could change at any minute.

Then it happened again, the Menu seemed to turn into a hospital chart with her name on it, and she was convinced a male Doctor in a white coat was standing in front of her. “He even called her by her first name, “Claire.” he stated, Are you alright? We don; t usually get you coming here in the evenings, you and David mostly come at lunch time, is anything wrong?”

Claire looked up, it was Patrick, he was wearing his usual Black outfit complete with matching white shirt that all the waiters wore. She smiled and reassured him everything was fine;

“What would you like?” he inquired, will David be joining you?”

Claire now felt awkward at the situation. She obviously ate with David because they were married, in fact David insisted on it, they took turns doing the cooking and it was her turn tonight, David could become very possessive, another of his traits she did not like.

“I just wanted to come in because I felt a bit tired, she lied, could I have a cup of tea and a piece of cake?”

“What kind, Chocolate, Plain, Jam and Cream-”

“Erm, Just plain.”

“I'm not surprised your tired, stated Patrick, I mean that course you take seems very complicated, something to do with time and it's effect on us all isn't it You know, how the outcomes are decided by the decisions we make, You met David because you attended a business conference and didn't take your car, if you had things might have turned out different!”

“Yes, muttered Claire solemnly, they might have,” And then raising her head she smiled one of her warm and David would call enticing smiles and stated:”Thank you Patrick.”

He smiled and she added, “Would you care to join me.”

“I'd love too.” He smiled, unfortunately we're very busy this evening; Besides what would your husband say?”

“Oh don't worry about him.” smiled Claire. However deep down she was beginning too.

Patrick left to take her order.

“What is my other self doing, in her own little world, thought Claire, Is she still alive? Are things improving for her, has she done something to cause the changes in mine?” “Why hasn't he killed her yet.”

Then it seemed to happen again, this time it was the customers as well as the Waiters and staff, they appeared to be taking part in a busy hospital, and two men appeared to be wheeling in a figure on a stretcher. Claire could not see who it was, however it turned to one man wheeling the dessert trolly and the hospital scene turned back into the cafe.

When Claire got home, it was 7:30 and she felt more ashamed at her suspicions than she did so originally. Especially when David embraced her in a way that showed genuine concern.

“Claire, what happened, I was worried, are you alright?”

She smiled, I stopped off at the cafe?” She stated, I just fancied a piece of cake.”

“Why for goodness sake, we've got Chocolate cake for dessert, you made it remember.”

“Did I? Oh yes, so I did, I'd best check the chicken, I'm afraid dinner's going to be a bit later than usual tonight!.

“Claire are you alright?” David inquired.

However she had now gone into the kitchen to get away from this conversation and to give herself time to think what to do next!

A few moments later she was startled by David entering and brushing past her to get to the sink as if she was viewing him from a different world.

“What you doing?” Inquired Claire, almost flinching back as if she expected to be attacked.

“I'm getting a glass of water.” He stated, taking a glass tumbler and holding it up by means of indication/

“Well can't you wait, the dinner won't be long!”

“Sorry, I didn't know there was a hose pipe ban. What you looking at me like that for It was only a joke;

She stared at his face, it was smiling as if it was trying to reassure her, the way he usually did.

She was having none of it, this time she wanted answers.

“David, have you ever been in an argument whilst driving? I mean, with another motorist;

“Claire, I argue with everyone it's my way;

“No, I mean, “She paused, feeling somewhat embarrassed as well as threatened.” have you ever been in a physical confrontation?”

“Not with another driver, a few close shaves but it's best to avoid them.”

There was a silence then he stated:

“I'll be in the dining room.”

Claire watched him leave and got on with the dinner.

At the table she was quiet, despite David smiling in the hope of starting a conversation she remained silent, her mind on the Parallel Universe, the one with the other her, the one who was trying to change things.

“The car's playing up again; he stated.

“What one?” she inquired, almost accusative.

Claire had decided to keep her car after she had married David, he had done the same with his.

“Mine, ironically the same thing that happened to yours when we met has happened to mine. You remember, you told me about it when I gave you a lift. Just think, if you'd taken the car things may have turned out differently.”

“Yes.” She stated.

Claire decided not to press the conversation, she knew the answers she wanted were more likely to be at the course she was attending. So far she had a vague idea of what was going on, the two universes were in conflict with each other, and she had to make certain things stayed the way that she believed they should.

She stopped her car outside and entered. It was a large building that offered many introductory courses, Claire made her way up the steps and through the large oaken brown doors with the silver pole handles and the fitted glass that looked contradictory. “Like two universes out of context.” Muttered Claire.

She watched a few male and female students walk past to their classes, then she saw Professor Sanderson. Claire decided to approach him.

He smiled the way he usually does, or rather the way he usually does with her and stated:

“Hello Claire, I'm just about to start my class, what's wrong?, You look a bit worried.”

“It''s the theory you told us about how when decisions are sometimes made time go off in two different directions, and that sometimes when circumstances occur they sometimes try to revert back; Like with the Actress you told us about who misses her chance then gets another one. You said it could affect her other self! “Claire paused, then continued, Do you mean in a bad way?”

“Well there are many ways. For instance her other self could be killed, or she might retire, or become something else, such as a Director. Or she might become a Television Actress and decide to leave the theatre or move to America to find work, since the British film Industry's almost rundown! Why'd you ask?

“My husband loses his temper when he's behind the wheel of his car sometimes-”

“He hasn't hit you has he?” Inquired Professor Sanderson, jumping in and touching her arm at the same time.

“No, but I keep thinking what would have happened if I'd taken the car that day when it was playing up. I know this is going to sound stupid, but I've seen things, images, of me, a bloody windscreen, a hospital ward, and now the same-thing is happening again with the car, although this time it's his car not mine! I feel she is trying to change things,

There was a silence and Claire clenched Professor Sanderson's arm realising how this manipulation could be interpreted, then moved closer and deliberately smiling said, “Please, you won't tell anyone, I do trust you, and I just need you to explain things to me;

“Claire, I think it would be best if we went in, and I spoke with you after class; Stated Professor Sanderson opening the door for her.

Claire nodded as if she had been reassured and took her usual seat at her desk.

It was not clear whether Professor Sanderson had decided to change his lesson to emphasise matters, however he began by explaining, “Somewhat reasuringly Claire thought” That all Parallel Universes follow the same time line, so if her other self had suffered fatally at the hands of her husband's other self, then she could not be able to change the course of events!

“Unless of course he hadn't killed her, thought Claire. In which case I am still in danger! Unless I can prevent matters from alternating.”

Professor Sanderson had drawn the usual flows of chalk lines on the board to represent the conception of Parallel Universes, and was now explaining how some universes seemed to be connected in a way that meant their outcome could affect one another. Claire knew he was trying to reassure her, however she knew she would have to discuss matters with her husband, and yet she was becoming more uncertain what the outcome would bring forth.

Claire waited till after the class had finished, then she and Professor Sanderson went to the canteen.

Fortunately there wasn't many people there, and so they found a more secluded spot, whilst Professor Sanderson went and got two teas, after inquiring if Claire wanted a cup. He paid for them both, Claire knew what her husband would say about that, she knew he could be very suspicious. He had never been abusive to her, although sometimes when he raised his voice she did feel threatened, and now she couldn't help wondering what might have been, and she feared somehow it would still occur.'

“I did see the woman, stated Claire, it was me, she was bleeding, she'd been in a car accident I know it'.”

“What are you going to tell your husband. If anything?” Inquired Professor Sanderson, taking a sip of tea.

“Maybe you could talk to him?” She stated, leaning across and clenching his arm.

He looked up. Yet she could see by his face he was confused.

“I'm not certain that's advisable at the moment, I do know what he thinks of me.”

There was a silence, then he stated:

“I would like to help you though.”

She smiled.

That evening Claire arrived home, with the intention of explaining to her husband, exactly what her concerns were, no matter how unusual they seemed; She was convinced that if she made herself seem uncertain of what was happening he was bound to empathise, and maybe that would give her the reassurance that she needed!

David was working late at the office on a business procedure, otherwise he was usually home before she was. Claire would prepare the dinner more or less in the morning, since she worked different hours to her husband.

She heard the car door closing, followed by the sound of David inserting the key into the lock, and stating: I'm home, is everything alright?

“I need to talk to you, she stated, feeling somewhat embarrassed. “It's very important;

“Alright, “He stated coming in, What you want to talk about?”

“David, You know I take a course on quantum physic, and that one of the subjects is the hypothesis relating to Parallel Universes, and how they effect the outcome of events?”

“And you want to know if your the Queen in any of them, well you'll always be mine.” He went over and kissed her face in reassurance. However she remained somewhat uncertain as she inquired:

“David, would you ever harm me?”

“Why you ask me that for? Claire what's happening? It's that bloody course isn't it? Is it that Professor Sanders, I've seen the way he looks at you, if he's been trying to-”

“David, I keep seeing, she paused then stated: I see me, I see me from another universe. Except in this one, I\m bleeding. There's been some sort of car accident. David you remember how we met, I'd forgotten my car and you gave me a lift, except in another universe I didn't and something happened!

He seemed confused,. Claire waited a second then continued.

“I don't know for certain if you and I got into some sort of argument, or what have you, however I keep seeing images of myself covered in blood, and I'm afraid it might happen to me here! That's why I need your reassurance that you will never do anything, intentionally or unintentionally to harm me in anyway whatsoever.”

“He was silent, somehow as if struggling to find the words, She felt an uneasy presence, yet it was she knew of her own making, and she felt even more confused when he inquired:

“Have I ever harmed you? I mean physically; And even when we argue am I not the first to apologize?”

She nodded tight-lipped in silent confirmation as if trying to prevent tears from forming.

“Did you discuss the matter with Professor Sanderson?”

“Yes, he told me not to worry, he wants us to stay together; She stated, as if he was now the one that needed reassuring.”

“Does he?” Inquired David, before turning to go a wash his hands

Claire looked in the mirror on the dresser, and saw herself She was seated in her car, blood covered her face and clothing, she wondered what she should do next?

The End