The Cheese Course

“There is something pleasurable in discovering a delicacy, that has been overlooked, rather than extravagantly denied.” Exclaimed renowned Bostonian food critic Clarence Farnsworthy, seated in one of the more exclusive Manhattan Restaurant whilst preparing another review for The New york Times.

Although food critics usually traveled incognito, so as not to be duped like some unsuspecting tourists, his companion on this excursion was his live in girlfriend and literary assistant, Judith Cresler, a woman twenty years younger to his sixty five, yet knowing that mature things give back more in the long run, instead of the quick thrills sort by the lesser Epicureans. However the evening was to be somewhat regrettable yet again. For having enjoyed a fine meal with his companion of

Lobster Newburg accompanied by a few glasses of Albarino from Gallicia in the Northwest corner of Spain

Veal escalopes with lemon and a garnish of sautéed potatoes, to which they drank a glass of Rioja

and finishing with Apple and Thyme Pastry Tarts with Cinnamon Ice cream. With that he drank water and she orange juice.

The reason was to be made clear as indeed was to be his disappointment yet again. For one of his major passions was the delicacy “As he referred to it” known as cheese. Clarence had a somewhat renowned knowledge of cheese, that went well with his knowledge of wine. Especially Spanish and Italian wines and his desire for strong cheeses, such as Stilton, Cashel Blue, proper English Cheddar, and Casu Marsu. He beckoned the Waiter, whom approached with an inquiring look, the Restaurant itself was half full with various clientele, except for a well dressed man seated in the alcove where he could watch and not be seen. He studied the look on Clarence's face as a somewhat limited cheese selection was placed in front of him and his companion, and it was obvious by the disappointing look on Clarence's face that he was hoping for something more elaborate, which the man was prepared to offer. Seeing Clarence discard the somewhat limited and processed selection, even the blue cheese that was merely coloured powdered to effect. The man waited, until Clarence and his companion were about to leave having settled the bill, then he approached and stated in a somewhat refined English accent, though with compliant New Yorker. “Excuse me, Your the food critic Clarence Farnsworthy-”

:Yes, but I'm with a Colleague, so if you want a quick autograph I can oblige, however I'm afraid I cannot stop and-”

“Oh no, you misjudge me; I saw the way you correctly discarded the choice they put before you. If you ask me, most Americans know as much about cheese as they do about chocolate; Cheese is a delicacy, it has so many flavours and textures and I believe I can be of assistance”

The man produced what looked like an old crumpled map from his trouser pocket, as if he wanted directions, however he pointed to a red circled spot on 5^th Avenue and explained that the place in question sold proper cheese delicacies, including Casu Marzu.

“I heard your choice of wines, I think you will find the cheeses there quite Moorish.”

“Isn't Casu Mazu banned? Inquired Judith, pleased at the chance to show her knowledge, and prove that this was a partnership and more than a culinary one at that, Because it-”

“Contains worms? Said the ma., Yes, but as you probably know the place I refer to merely looks like a discarded paint peeled maroon door. Resembling some failed city project that no one investigates. There is a number at the top, if you phone them I assure you they will be most cooperative;

Clarence thought for a moment then stated, “I don't want to find out that this is some gimmicky processed cheese, popular on Halloween, with pieces of mushroom, or Quark or whatever they use to represent living bacteria; If it is, I will be disappointed!

“What have you got to lose? If you don't like it leave.”

And being curious about everything, especially food, Clarence and his companion. Thanked the man in polite literal terms and set off.

To make certain of no further disappointments, Clarence used his mobile to announce he was arriving with his companion. An elderly distinguished sounding man with a gentle American-british accent stated that they would be expected. They were to announce their arrival for security reasons, having already been asked to give their names, they had both complied in doing so.

To be certain they both took a Taxi, and after paying the driver tip included and he thanked them before driving off. They both found their selves standing in front of the maroon door that seemed to blend in with the brickwork. The only part that had no graffiti. “As if it was cleaned regularly to keep up appearance.” thought Clarence to himself. There was no knocker or buzzer, so Clarence decided to phone the man yet again, whom answered and on hearing whom they were went and let them in, closing the door behind him as he did so.

The place had a light woodish appearance concerning the walls. The floor was a dull unpainted white consisting of easily noticeable floorboards. It was as if they had stepped into an old decrepit house that had never been painted, let alone started on. The man was somewhat roundish in appearance and about five foot two wearing a white coat, red shirt and black trousers. He had tufted white-ish hair, and his lined face seemed to smile pleasantly as he announced: “How may I be of assistance to you you both?”

“My name is Clarence Farnsworthy, I'm a food critic, with a love of cheeses. I was told you have some acceptable delicacies, and we were wondering if we might discuss purchases?|

“And do you have any particular cheeses, either of you are interested in?

“I was told you may have Casu Marzu, though we would like to try some of your other delicacies if we may?”

The man glanced at the three wooden steps in the distance, leading to a slightly higher level, where a warm light shone a yellowy glow as if this was necessary.

“If you would both care to follow me?” Stated the man.

They did so.

There were two displays, or rather one, the first was the typical sanitised appearance in cheese shops good, bad or indifferent, the other was the kind kept behind the grey steel door with the somewhat dusty glass,. Clarence tried to look inside, getting a glimpse of a circular object that seemed to have white moving line,, “This he told himself was where the best stuff was kept.”

“And where would you both like to start?: Inquired the man, smiling pleasantly. Perhaps with some cheddar or a little brie?

“Enjoy the starter before the main, announced Clarence glancing at his companion. We'll try some strong English cheddar, and then perhaps a little French Brie.'

“And would you both care for a glass of port? We have a fine selection on offer to go with all types of cheese selections,?”

:It might be worth trying, stated Judith, holding onto Clarence's arm as if they were discussing an anniversary present, We are expecting some guests from the Food Writers Guild and it doesn't hurt to impress.” She smiled at the man as if to include him in the statement.

“Indeed it does not. he stated, We have a rather nice Sousao, or would you prefer a Tinta Roriz, both from the Douro Valley Portugal, that would blend nicely with a mild blue, or even a soft Brie.”

Clarence thought for a moment then inquired, again, “I was told you sell Casu Mazu, is that correct, I mean it is banned in the States for obvious reasons. Not that I'm implying anything you understand.”

“None taken Sir. We did have some Casu Mazu, however our supply has not yet arrived, for various reasons. I can however offer you a yet unnamed cheese, that has a somewhat mild yet lingering after taste, somewhat similar to Tante Moine from Sweden, though somewhat stronger in flavour.

It does also contain Maggots, if that is what you desire?”

Clarence noticed the dubious look on his companion's face as she clung tighter to him as if fearing some unexplained event was about to occur.

“It's alright. He reassured her with a glance, They are quite harmless. I've had Pecorino and Casu Marzu many times on my travels.”

“I've only been with you to certain regions, she stated, however if you both say it is safe.”

“The acid in your stomach kills them Madam. Stated the man, then seemed to whisper softy, “Apparently.”

:Alright; she stated.

“And the Port, a Tinta Roriz perhaps? If your interested our cheapest prices range from $25's to our most expensive at $70500's .”

“We'll both take a glass; smiled Clarence, smiling at his companion in reassurance.

“I won't be a moment Sir; Stated the man, opening the steel door with a rusty key of many on a circular keychain, closing it loosely, and returning with a somewhat runny circle that seemed to be leaking a pool of lavae that smelt of rather strong odours, and could clearly be seen incorporating while strands, wriggling as if inquisitive. The man placed the mound of cheese on a wooden bench like table. The cheese was on a clean white plater, although the ooze had somewhat exaggerated parts of it's appearance. A cheese cutting knife was already situated, the holes are to prevent the cheese sticking to the blade and therefore prevent any unintentional effecting of it's flavour.

They waited whilst the man went to get two glasses of port and a small plate consisting of four biscuits. When he returned he set the small silver tray with the lattice pattern and it;'s contents on the table and prepared to cut a piece of the cheese, Firstly for Judith to try.

“And where is this cheese made?” Inquired Clarence.

“I'm not certain Sir, confirmed the man, It's somewhere between Area 51 and parts of The Yorkshire Triangle, Madam, he stared placing a piece on a biscuit, if you would care to try?”

The worms seemed to be entwined within the cheese, like amoebas coming out of a primordial existence. She let her tongue first taste the firm slightly hardened texture, then the runny melting companion, as she felt the gelatinous flesh sliding onto her tongue, she took a small bite and immediately felt a somewhat euphoric reaction within her brain, combined with the lingering yet pleasing nutty texture. There was a somewhat moist flesh like taste of the maggots, with traces of well cooked meat, or so she would have described it.

They both waited in anticipation of her reaction, and were equally pleased when smiling to herself she took another bite. At which point with already perceived intentions Clarence decided to join her.

They settled on a package of the unknown cheese and two bottles of Tinta Roriz, as well as some English Stilton, some French ripened Camembert, Italian Taleggio, a slice of Vermont Bonne Bouche, a piece of Dehesa De Los Llanos from Spain as well as a Cabrales, and a mild Garotxa Cantalonia all three from Spain. The cheeses and Ports had been neatly packaged and they had each been given a leaflet advertising popular choices for holidays such as Christmas, with a 10% discount off a rare bottle of Paxron and Whitfield Tawny Port, said to go well with Stilton or even a good Tetilla from Spain, excellent for dessert with it's lemon texture. Effective for a citrus pairing of Christmas flavours.

Whilst in their somewhat lavish apartment in the more high priced secluded area of New York 42cnd Street. Clarence set about unpacking, whilst Judith was instantly on the phone to her gourmet friends as she referred to them, though only to Clarence and by means of hierarchical importance, Explaining what had happened and longing to see them for another dinner party.

It was whilst talking to a woman named Claire that Judith felt the insatiable urge to take another bite of the unknown cheese. And seeing it was unpackaged proceeded to do so. Clarence did not seem to mind, in fact he was rather pleased that she was taking such an interest.

He smiled as she took a piece, and eating it went back to the phone, apologising and regaining the conversation. Whilst Clarence continued with his unpacking.

It was getting somewhat late, and having already eaten at the Restaurant, they decided to relax in the comfort of their home. after Clarence had put the cheeses and Ports away. He had placed the unknown cheese in a separate plastic container within the fridge at the warmest part, to keep fresh so that the worms would not go off. Since they had to remain fresh to preserve the taste. Now he was looking forward to taking Judith with him, on his next visit to Italy and impressing her. She was very attractive and he had been afraid of losing her company, since other men had been paying an interest in her, and he had been worried she was finding his excursions into the world of food somewhat mundane. Now as he watched her leave to enter the kitchen, he knew like him, she was a true Affineur, a lover of cheeses. He slumped back in the armchair whilst she proceeded to make two cups of English tea, and considered booking a flight to Italy for both of them as a surprise, since it was coming up to her birthday and he wanted to keep her occupied so to speak.

At about 1030 Judith exclaimed that she was feeling tired and that she was going to bed. Clarence said he'd be up soon, “After watching the news. Probably all that Port and cheese; he smiled, I feel a bit tired myself.” He watched her leave. He thought he heard her in the kitchen, however he ignored this, since Judith always liked to snack, and the cheese was indeed some of the best he'd ever tasted, He decided at about 11.07 to check for himself. By then Judith was already in bed, and on entering the kitchen, he decided to see what she had consumed. He took out the container and on opening it, noticed it had become more runny, it seemed to contain lavae, that was somehow integrated along with the cheese itself and the maggots, it was as if the cheese had the same connection to the worms as eggs to a chicken or milk to a cow, as if they were producing the cheese their selves. He dismissed this, assuming the cheese had just gotten more runny, “Probably due to the fridge temperature being messed up or something.” he muttered, helping himself to a runny piece before putting back the container and tightly securing the lid. He then got undressed in the bedroom where his pajamas were kept on his side, and got into bed. He kissed Judith on the face, even though she did not stir, then he too fell asleep. He was somewhat disturbed in the middle of the night by Judith getting up, He checked the alarm clock noticing it was 3:13 and assumed she was going to the bathroom. Instinctively he turned on the table lamp that was on her side, even though he too liked to read, and noticed there was a tiny drop of blood,

“Judith, are you alright? he inquired, have you been cleaning your teeth too hard again?

He got out of bed and decided to talk to her in what he assumed would be the bathroom, however she was not there. Noticing the light from the kitchen he went to find out if she was alright, perhaps she was getting a glass of water to wash out the blood. She was holding the carton of cheese, he noticed she seemed to be consuming it's contents as if she was addicted. She did not notice him approach, he tapped her on the shoulder and called out her name,

Instinctively as if startled she seemed to drop the container and he thought he heard tiny voices state, “Leave us alone”

“Clarence?” she muttered as if she was unaware of her surroundings.

He stared at the runny contents that now oozed on the floor, the maggots crawling through the cheese lava, though now there was stripes of red, he turned to Judith, whom was now becoming tired. “We need to get you back to bed.” he stated, taking her arm with both his in order to guide her. He would get rid of the container afterwards, he would wash out its contents and flush it down the toilet. “Perhaps I am over reacting; he told himself, as he got her back in their bed, however it's best to be on the safe side,”

Clarence decided to keep on the lamp light, so he could watch Judith and make certain she was alright. “Maybe it was her gums bleeding because she had rubbed them too hard? He told himself, maybe I did imagine the voices; However he decided he would throw away the cheese, “And then what? he inquired to himself as he went into the kitchen, the larvae seemed to have increased, he went to get some kitchen roll to scoop it up back into its container,, then taking it over to the sink he began to fill it with water in order to destroy its contents. Quickly before anything he assumed could happen he took it into the toilet and poured the contents down the pan, the sound of the chain pulling now seemed in unison with Judith's coughing and what sounded like spluttering. Clarence dropped the now empty container. Rushing in to see what was occurring. He then noticed that blood was on the sheets. Judith had been sick violently, and not only that, she seemed somewhat dazed, as if her body was responding automatically, whilst her mind was not.

“Judith, he called going over to her and noticing the blood soaked worms and larvae that was crawling out of her mouth, Oh God. I'm going to call an ambulance! Judith can you hear me? I'm going to get help”

Going into the passage where a telephone was kept on a brown oaken one legged table with a white lattice cloth for decoration, Clarence picked it up and dialed 911. The Operator a woman, inquired of the emergency and he stated:

“I need an ambulance, it's my girlfriend, she's eaten some cheese, she's being sick;

:It's probably mild food poisoning; They are very busy at this time of night, however I will put you through, Hold on please.”

Clarence waited for what seemed like ages, the only sounds being the ringing of the tele[hone and Judith's coughing and vomiting in unison. He became concerned that she was losing too much blood and that very soon she would hemorrhage! It was then he heard a man's voice state:

“Ambulance, what seems to be the problem?”

“It's my girlfriend she's eaten some cheese and now she can't stop vomiting, she's bringing up blood and she has maggots coming out of her mouth;

There was a pause then the man stated:

“Sir, we are very busy. We do not have time for this sort of thing, we have serious cases to deal with.”

“This is serious, for goodness sake; I am not making this up! Please you must come I think they're aliens.”

The phone went silent.

“Hello, hello are you still there? “Idiot.” shouted Clarence slamming the phone down in frustration. He ran into the bedroom. Judith was now on the floor. She was laying on her back and the blood had now become a trickle, yet her eyes had turned a dark galaxy black without the stars, and the worms were still crawling out of her mouth.

Clarence helped her up by placing an arm around his shoulder and taking the unconscious Judith into the kitchen, where instinctively he began to mix salt water, forcing it down her throat in order to make her sick and destroy the maggots. He was trying to get her to drink the liquid as she kept coughing, some of the larvae and their adult species had dropped onto the floor, yet the salt water was also coming out too quick. Clarence knew he needed to try something else. He sat her on the chair, her body still slumped and unconscious, whilst he contemplated making some coffee. He noticed that now they were dropping out of her mouth, yet he knew it was not yet over. He needed to get help.

“Judith, I won't be a minute; he stated, I'm going to phone some of our friends, they can help us.”

He then added that he was putting the kettle on, and poured some coffee via five spoonfuls into a large cup, in the hope it would revive her because of it's strong contents. Then he went into the Dining Room in order to dial, two men and a woman whom were also renowned food critics and close friends of him and Judith. Their names were, Jack, Toby, and Amelia, who is American English. Her Mother is a Newspaper Editor for a upperclass food magazine in London and her Father an American Businessman who owns a Catering Service. It was Amelia whom answered since he had dialed her first, and after explaining clearly what was occurring, he heard her say she was coming round and that she would bring the others as he had requested.

“It's going to be alright?” she reassured him, go see how Judith is.”

On hearing the kettle click, he went into the kitchen and poured some strong black coffee before putting back the kettle. He then went over to Judith and seeing her mouth conveniently open, forced her head back and began to pour in the coffee. She still spluttered yet at least it was going in, and some of it was remaining. He put down the cup and placing his arm around her shoulder began walking her round, talking all the time about things they had done as a couple and places they had been too. He kept asking her questions about places and things as if trying to get her to respond to his questions. She was mumbling and he was certain he could hear the tiny voices, yet some of them were becoming fainter. It was then he heard two cars drive up.

“They've arrived. Judith our friends are here; You stay on the chair I'm going to let them in.”

He slumped her on the chair and rushed to open the door. Jack and Toby stood there with their wives and Amelia with her husband, they were all dressed as if they had just returned from a dinner party, the men in suits and ties, the women in blue dresses.

“What's going on?” He inquired, have you all been somewhere?”

“They've been to the cheese shop.” he heard a voice state.

Clarence turned to see Judith standing there, the blood had stopped dripping from her mouth, yet her eyes were galaxy black without the stars. She was moving towards him automatically.

Instinctively he turned to the others, their eyes were the same.

“Judith told us all about the cheese shop.” said Jack, as Judith grabbed him round the neck, her strength having increased as if by some extra terrestrial force. We'd like you to sample some with us,” continued Jack. I have some in my car. Running a catering business, I believe I can put it to good use.

Clarence began to struggle, as Toby and Amelia grabbed his arms holding them with both their hands as if on a warped date. They all began to drag him, literarily kicking and trying to scream as Judith tightened her grip around his neck, causing him to slump, When he awoke he found himself seated in a chair at the head of the Dining Table. They were forcing his mouth open, and Jack was presenting the cheese on a silver platter, the maggots were breeding in front of him and now Jack was forcing the cheese into his mouth. He could hear them saying you will soon be one of us, and as he adapted to the taste, he could hear their voices inside his head, explaining why.

The End